“When God wants to form our character, He doesn’t give us a to-do list. He puts us in a community with fellow believers where the image of Christ is stamped onto our being.” That’s how Pastor Mike closed last week’s Visitor Article. As I reread those words, I can’t help but think to myself… wouldn’t a to-do list be so much easier? I’m joking, of course (mostly). But working together with other Christians can be more difficult than a private to-do list I can check off at home. We’re all sinners, and sooner or later we’re going to sin against each other.

Hence the importance of those four qualities Mike has been showing us from Ephesians 4. This past Sunday we looked at humility and meekness, and this coming Sunday Mike will be teaching on patience and forbearance. I am convicted about how far I have to go in learning these qualities. I am also hopeful that most of you are farther along than I am—because I know how much patience and forbearance it can take to put up with me! (My wife would certainly agree).

All joking aside, these four qualities are important to possess but difficult to acquire. Anger and frustration are so easy for us to justify in ourselves. It is not natural for us to be patient with others, especially when we believe we have been wronged. It is going to take supernatural intervention for me to bear the fruit of patience. It can only be the fruit of the Spirit.

But patience and humility also have a supernatural foundation. Paul calls the Ephesian believers to bear with one another, in light of the unity that we have in Christ. One Lord, one faith, one baptism. The more our relationships are built on Christ, the more natural it is for us to forgive one another. If our relationship is built mostly on shared interests or a shared stage of life—or maybe shared idols!—then what happens when the waves come down and the floods come up? The relationship goes SPLAT! Those foundations won’t hold.

But what if we built our relationships on Christ? What happens if we see each other first and foremost as redeemed sinners, whom God loved so much He sent His only Son to redeem them? What if the goal of our relationship is to help each other grow in Christlikeness, and we’re actively pursuing that goal together? Then when we sin against each other, even though there is still hurt, our relationship stands a better chance of weathering the storm. It’s going to be a lot easier for me to look past my hurt to serve your need for grace if serving your need for grace is what I’ve been up to in our relationship already. Let’s put Christ first in our relationships. He is the only foundation that holds.